Before You Try To Act Like It’s All Good Today, It’s Not + Storm Resources

Lifestyle
Written By Courtney Cross-Johnson

My anxiety has been sitting on high for these last 7-9 days while our state got wrecked with the winter storm. I had it in my plans to wake up and get “back to business” today but I think because I have a personally monumental week on top of my anxiety of how people are faring, my anxiety came and woke me back up at 3:40 am. I think I am also anticipating the “back to normal” propaganda that’s going to be blasted across social media and businesses in general. So please heed my reminder- before you try to act like it’s all good today just because it is a new week, it is NOT.

I am not okay. When I had my therapy session on Thursday I think I cried for 45 of our 50-minute session. The reasons behind the tears mainly fluctuated between disbelief, anger turned to rage, helplessness, and apathy. I’ve been living in Texas for 10 years this upcoming June and not once have I ever had such a strong instinct to pack up and GTFO. I was… am… BIG mad y’all. Then seeing Fled Cruz only added fuel to my already raging fire.

So much of this was preventable and yet so much was unpredictable. Because I had participated in a leadership program a few years ago, I knew that when my water was starting to act shaky the day before the storm was due to come, I knew I needed to get downtown or to the medical district. Downtown is where we went and all I can say is thank God. What was supposed to be a relaxing Valentine’s Day / President’s Day / Mardi Gras weekend for many turned into one of a freezing hell. My own residence’s power, heat, and water were down and thankfully we had the means to extend (aka double) our hotel stay. But knowing my always-wanting-to-be-out-in-the-streets-helping-out-self, I was stuck watching so many families check-in with their little ones and puppies looking for refuge. I wanted to donate to every single thing but I didn’t even know when it would be okay for me to go home. The food in the hotel was starting to be rationed out in between the Monday-Tuesday window and my social media timeline was full of horror stories, anger, and pleas for help. A once seemingly empty hotel was now “COVID-booked” along with its downtown Dallas neighbors and families were stuck making dangerous drives or freezing at home.

On Wednesday, courtesy of social media, I saw an opportunity to volunteer and help our people in Dallas, Houston, and Galveston. I knew I needed to redistribute the anger/sadness I was feeling into some sort of action or otherwise, I was going to go down a mean spiral. But when Thursday came and I had therapy… I broke all the way down. And even in that moment, I continued to get upset because I was worried about the mental state of Texans. This entire situation had been traumatic AF and like COVID, there were lasting damages that we were not prepped for. Case in point? I had fear of washing my hair because I didn’t even trust the water supply in the place where I have lived for 4.5 years. I still hesitate to plug items in because there had been so much chatter about potential electrocuting. I legit think about when is Texas’ power grid going to fail us again all the time.

So while yes, glory to God I am returning to some sense of normalcy and I am okay, we cannot continue to operate in this rush to return “back to business”. Cancel the unnecessary meetings. Let people breathe. That work can wait. Many families, particularly Black and brown, and suffering catastrophic levels of damage that aren’t just a short-term fix. I anticipate insurance companies screwing over people of color when they make claims and many people are displaced. The work is just beginning and it’s time to saddle up and raise hell.

Stay safe yall. We got this.

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Courtney Cross-Johnson
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